So I find this again, looking for old poems. It's Halloween week, and I'm hosting a Poetry Slam in our school library. I have a few minutes to write. Saturday was Amber's annual Halloween party, and Jeff and I resurrected our biker personas from over a decade ago. It was fun and funny, and I have lots of hilarious pictures. We were home before midnight. I remember when we used to have the grandparents stay with the kids while we attended the party. Erin is now attending the party with us as a full grown 25 year old, and driving herself back to her own apartment instead of coming home. She doesn't drink, so it's not a concern. 

I feel compelled to "update" the blog about my children, since I started writing this when they were little. But it was never intended to be a blog about them. It was for me. At the time, I felt myself leaning into exploring the struggles around body image and weight, and yes, they are still struggles. But as I age I find myself thinking more about mobility and having the quality of life I want after seeing the contrast between my father and my mother. 

I am looking at retiring in about a year. There are so many things I want to do with my time. My job is not bad--I am just hyper-aware that time is precious, and I want to do other things while I still have it and I'm still healthy. Hopefully I will remain in good health for decades to come, but I want to be realistic as well. 

The state of the world--well. My 2013 self could have never imagined it. Election day is next Tuesday. We have already early voted. The future feels strange and uncertain. I feel like we may be in the last months of our democracy--or maybe we will manage to snatch a scrap or two back and try to stitch something meaningful back together. We'll see. We will see.